with you, i am home
by ASongInMyHead
Summary: After Jarred runs to Endon's aid, Anna is left in the forge with only her thoughts and fears for company.


Anna sat on her bed, her trembling hands folded neatly in her lap, and counted minutes in her head. Despite her best efforts, she could not really tell how long it had been since Jarred had dressed, kissed her sweetly, and sprinted towards the palace. Her thoughts were chaos in her head, and she kept losing track of her count and starting over. Jarred might have been gone for twenty minutes or two hours, but it felt like a lifetime to her.

"How foolish I must look," she muttered after a while, and rose to her feet. She shed her nightclothes quickly, and dressed in a loose tunic and skirt. Jarred had run to the palace hoping to find the king, and he might very well bring his friend home, alive or dead. She lit a fire and tied her hair back. It felt good to be in control, even of little things.

She had no idea of what her husband was doing. She did not know if he had reached the palace, or found the king. She did not know if he was even alive.

The window was still ajar, from when she had propped it open before she had seen the Ak-Baba. She could hear someone shouting, and the sound of breaking glass. Hesitantly, she crept to the window, and— hardly breathing— slowly looked out.

The night had not yet given way to morning, but the sun had just begun to rise, and she could see people running in the street, as dark as shadows. Some of them were screaming, clearly running to somewhere they thought to be safer, where ever that might be. Anna gasped as she watched someone heave a rock at a shop window down the street. The glass shattered, and the looter clambered in through the hole. She shut the window and pulled the curtain closed.

As she turned away, an object on the table caught her eye. It was a key. A terrible realization struck her, and her knees went weak. The forge gate was closed, but it did not lock by itself. In his haste to leave, Jarred had left his key behind, meaning the gate would push open for anyone who tested it. She picked it up, and looked toward the door. With a deep breath she summoned up the courage to do what needed to be done.

She rushed back to the hearth and pulled a poker from beside the flames, gripping it as firmly as she could in her sweaty palm. She threw open the front door and hurried through the forge and into the front yard. Outside, the voices were louder, the sound of boots on the street seemed like thunder. Anna ignored the chaos, and strode through the yard in her bare feet. She was careful, even in her distress, not to disturb the herb garden she had treasured since childhood. She finally reached the gate, and was forced to set the poker down, although it made her feel vulnerable. She tried to fit the key into the lock, and swore fiercely when it did not take. On the second try, the key slid home, and she breathed a heavy sigh of relief as the lock fell into the latch. She pulled the key out and shoved it into her pocket.

A screech from above made her flinch. It was a terrible cry: evil and inhuman. She looked to the palace, where the Ak-Baba still swarmed. One tore away from the rest, quickly flying to the east. Anna had heard tales of all the terrible monsters that roamed the land, but she had never witnessed such a horrible sight. She picked up the poker, knowing it would be useless against such a creature. Still, it felt good to hold a weapon in her hand.

The gate began to rattle and Anna took a step back. It began again, and she pressed her hand to her mouth. Someone was trying to get in. The gate was old and meant more for privacy than fortification. If someone really wanted to get in, they would.

"Leave here," she shouted, in a voice that was as loud and strong as she could manage. "There are many of us, and all carry weapons. It would be unwise to enter!"

"Dear heart," a beloved and muffled voice carried over the wall. "Everything is fine! Please, open the gate."

Anna gasped and pulled the key back out. She unlocked the gate quickly, and Jarred rushed in, followed by two well-dressed and shaking figures. She stepped back to allow them entry, and locked the gate behind them. Jarred did not say another word, but drew her quickly into his arms. She forgot her fear for a moment, and let the poker drop to the ground with a clatter, embracing him. He smelled of sweat and he was covered in dirt, but she buried her face in his chest.

"I was so worried," she told him.

He kissed her hair. "I feared for you."

She pulled away, suddenly very conscious of the two strangers in her yard. There was no question as to who they king was white under his makeup, the queen's lovely hands trembled against her pregnant belly. Anna's grandfather had spoken against the royal family all her life. But Jarred had told her stories of Endon's friendship and kind heart. Now the king and queen stood in her home, beautifully adorned, and so very frightened. She had no idea how to greet them. But she stepped forward and spread out her arms. "You are very welcome here," she told them.

The queen gave her a shaky smile, filled with gratitude. "My name is Sharn. We are in your debt for providing us with sanctuary."

Anna felt it was easy to return the other woman's smile. The absurdity of it all was astounding. "I am Anna. I am very glad to see you all safe."

The king, who had been looking around the forge as if he did not quite know how he had arrived there, looked towards her. "Yes. My name is Endon. Jarred has saved our lives, as have you for sheltering us."

"Let us go inside," Jarred said hurriedly. "We have much to discuss, and little time to do so. You must be hidden. If my plan is to be carried out, it needs to be done before the sun fully rises, I fear."

Anna looked at him, unsure of what he meant, but took his hand. He hissed and pulled away, and it was then that she saw the angry welt on his palm.

"What happened?" She cried, horrified.

Jarred clenched his jaw. "I will tell you in a moment. But it is alright, I swear it."

She shook her head. "Let me see to it, at least."

He looked at her then, his face full of love and a terror that astounded and frightened her. She knew then that the night was far from over.

They led Endon and Sharn inside and Anna set them by the fire. She fetched them a bowl of water, and a cloth. "If you are to hide, you must look like you belong. Your makeup and hair set you apart from the rest of the city."

Sharn took the bowl with a word of thanks. She looked as if she might cry, but instead she buried her face in the cloth, as if to hide it. Anna went to the kitchen, and pulled chamomile and turmeric from her herb drawer. She mashed them in a bowl, and mixed it with water until it formed a thin paste. The work felt good. She was talented at healing, and knowing she could do something to help in such a terrible circumstance helped to calm her beating heart. She cut a line of cloth bandage from a roll, and took it all to Jarred. He had been speaking with Endon, their heads bent just as they must have done as boys, but he rose and turned to her now. "I must speak to you, alone."

She nodded, and followed him to the bedroom. Although she had dozens of questions, she let him tell her everything that had happened since he left the forge, until his return. As he spoke, his injured hand was in her lap, while she smeared her poultice across it and bandaged the wound with practised fingers. When he finished, Anna was silent for a long moment as she thought of all that she had been told.

"I do not understand," she finally said. "Endon protected the Belt, did he not? How could this happen?"

Jarred looked away. "He only ever wore it once, the day he became king."

Anna stood up in shock. "What?"

"No Deltoran king or queen has worn the Belt more than once for a very long time."

Anna continued to stare at him. He had never lied to her before; how could he have kept this secret for seven years? Jarred looked back up at her, his eyes clouded with shame.

"You knew," she said slowly. "You knew all this time, and you let me believe that we were safe."

"There are very few people in this city who still hold sparks of hope in their hearts," his voice was desperate, pleading. "I did not want to kill yours."

Anna sat back down beside him, shaking her head. What could possibly be said of all this madness?

"I knew Endon might call on me one day," Jarred went on. "But I swear I never thought it would be like this."

"You should not have kept this from me," she drew in a short breath and ran her hands through her dark curls, pulling them from her binding. It was not the time to argue, although she wanted to. But she knew her husband, and she knew why he did things the way he did.

"Be careful, my love," she sighed and pressed a hand to his cheek. "One day you will tear yourself apart, trying to protect the people you care for."

Jarred laughed without humour, and bowed his head. "I _am_ sorry, dear heart."

"I know. Later, then. What is this plan you speak of? Have you told them where you think they should go?"

He looked at her, his face twisted by an agony that she had not seen since the day he had stumbled into her life. He covered her hands with his uninjured one. "I hope I have not lost your trust, for I need it now, more than ever."

There were many things that Anna was unsure of, but that was not one of them. "You could never lose my trust."

He sighed, and she could feel his hand shaking against hers. She held him tighter. "I think… if they left, it would be even more dangerous than it needs to be. I think that they should stay here… and we should leave in their place. They are not prepared, Anna. They do not know what it is like to struggle to survive."

For some reason that she would later never be able to explain, Anna felt very calm. "We would be their decoys."

"Yes. We would leave, and they would take our places. On the way here, Endon spoke of fleeing to Tora. I think we should go there. I have read that Tora is a city of great beauty. We could be happy there, and so could our child. It would be a dangerous road for us, but whatever happens, they _must_ live, Anna. Our future— Deltora's future, depends on that."

He looked so anxious and afraid, and she felt as if her heart might break.

"I have not told them my plan, because I wanted you to hear it first," he went on. "This was your home before it was also mine. This is your life, too. I cannot make this decision on my own."

Anna looked around the bedroom. She had been born there, tearing her way violently into the world, killing her mother. She had grown up in that home; learned to forge sheets of metal into tools that could aid people, to grow plants that could heal them. She had laughed in that home, she had cried there. She had pressed bandages to her father side, pleading him to stay alive after he had staggered home late one night. She had held her grandfather's hand as he died. She had held her husband in their bed. She had always imagined all of her children playing in the garden. This was the only home she had ever known; she did not want to leave.

But she would. Hers was not the only family in danger, and she knew she had always been meant to heal. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he relaxed into her.

"We have much to discuss, love," she whispered. "But for now, know this: I am afraid. I am so very afraid. But we will have each other. As long as we are together, I know my fears will go unfound."

He held her for a long moment before he spoke. "I am so lucky to have you. We will speak of everything else, I promise. But for now, we must tell Endon and Sharn of what we will do, and gather what we need. This will not be a farewell to our home. We will return, I swear on my life."

Although his words seemed impossible, they also felt true. She had always done what needed to be done, and how was this any different? She would help those who needed it, as she always had.

They rose hand-in-hand, and returned to Sharn and Endon, who were huddled by the fire with bare-faces and loose hair. And there, in that small room, was where it truly began.


End file.
